THIS WILL BE THE YEAR I TURN IT ALL AROUND

This Year Will Be Different

I close my eyes and I see a change for the new year. I see myself wearing smart, black turtlenecks, cuffed slacks and Allen Edmonds Strand Cap-Toe Oxford shoes – color, Walnut. My trousers are hemmed just so; when I recline in the lobby of the Intercontinental Hotel with a copy of The New Yorker, looking only at the cartoons and not understanding much of the poetry, my whimsical, tri-color socks delight guests and interlopers alike.

In this vision, I use an Amazon Prime account to purchase a wireless headset microphone, the kind that fits over my ear and hangs beside my face, making me look like an airline pilot, or Britney Spears. I purchase giant red plastic TED letters to hang on my biggest wall. For endless, fascinating hours I pace and talk to myself and learn so much.

Wisdom that comes to me in these hours of blinding enlightenment will, of course, transcend and supersede my previous uplifty mansplainings. You will need to renew your subscription, log in, play the excellent videos, listen and learn all over again. I take PayPal.

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Guy D. Johnson is a writer and marketing communications professional. Previously an animation studio owner, daily newspaper editor, reporter and photographer, volunteer fireman, railroad bridge gang helper, FM radio station underling and cave guide. He has lived on farmland trusted to the sun and rain; atop a wooded hill; beside great rivers; upon an arid, high plateau; and at the subtropical coast of the Gulf of Mexico. For 20 years, he worked and wrote in New Orleans.

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